Friday, March 11, 2011

Introducing Author Shara Azod

Driving is Dangerous

Save a Life- seriously. Follow these simple tips and pass them on and YOU could be saving a life.

Do not cut me off, get in front of me, and then slow down, because if you do I will follow you home and burn every car in a five mile radius just in case one of your neighbors even think of letting you drive their car because yours is a smoldering torch

Do not ride up on my bumper—go around, because I will slow down, then when you do move over I will get in front of you and slow down.

If you are driving under the speed limit, get the fruck out of the fast lane; I am serious because I will take you out slowly and without mercy.

Take the keys away from grandma and grandpa. I mean for real. If they are 157, they don’t need to be on the road, you should be running their errands or taking them where they want to go. If you don’t I am coming after you, not the grands.

Truckers are assholes. I don’t care if they are your spouse, brother, sister, daddy, cousin on your mother’s uncle’s sister’s step-brother’s side, they are assholes and it won’t be bananas I stick in their tail pipe.

Dear Mr./Ms. FBI, NSA, Secret Service or other law enforcement person, these are not real threats, it is irony. I am being sarcastic to work out my frustrations. I have no intention of purposefully doing anyone any serious bodily harm. I am merciful after all. And nice.

One more thing: If you have to put nuts
on your truck, this signifies you have none, which makes me more man than you'll ever be and more woman than you'll ever have. Go home, hide your face, or I will dominate you. I just might anyway.

Jeanie and Jayha comment 1: Dear Mr./Ms. Law Enforcement Agent/Entity. What she said…except, neither of us would go so far as to say she is “nice.” That part of her post is what we in the south call a ‘Damn Lie.’

Jeanie and Jayha comment 2: Dear Truckers. We’re not involved in her comments. We love the “Smoky and the Bandit” movies. Thank you.

Shara’s listings at Beautiful Trouble Publishing:

Shara Azod Bio:
Shara is the first one to admit she is a little off. Her favorite movies are Steel Magnolias and Apocalypse Now, with a little Godfather and Animal House thrown in for fun. When not planning to take over the world, or re-fighting the world’s greatest battles in her mind, she can usually be found having deep and meaningful conversations with her kids (11 & 8) about the meaning of life or trying to talk her husband into buying her weapons—just in case of Armageddon.


  1. let me get in on those comments to the "man"
    *uh ummm clears throat* "Je veux juste que vous tout sachiez il n'était pas moi, je mets pour ne pas savoir n'importe quoi et vous ne pourriez pas le prouver si je faisais" *shrugs*

  2. Clearly I can't have you and Sig Other meet each other EVER.